2nd Anniversary

Yesterday was our anniversary. Two years. Only two years? How is that possible? It feels as if together we have lived through a century of despair. Of tragedy and hopelessness. Of tears and sleepless nights. Of anger and injustice. Of hurt and betrayal. This was not what I had imagined as I stood before God and my family and friends and pledged my love. Gave my life to him forever. For I imagined a life of grace. I imagined a road well paved, full of promise and illuminated by our faith. Ha. And now I can't even find a path to travel. I've lost the naivety and innocence of the bride that I aspired to be. That I believed that I would be. I look back at those pictures of me, of us on our wedding day. Who were those people? Those young and ignorant fools? So full of hope and so void of tragedy. I can stare at those people for hours. Their youth and beauty. Mesmerized by their hopeful faces. I can't turn away. I feel as if I am looking at strangers. Because that girl, the one with the blue eyes, she is no more. She is not the face that stares back at me every day.
Yet as I sat in front of my husband, at a crowded diner, over a dinner of grilled cheese and day old turkey, I couldn't turn away from him. This man who has loved me to the depths of my soul. This man who has walked through the darkness with me, guiding me back toward the light. Where he was waiting. Always waiting. Never in my life could I imagine a love so profound, so consuming, so forgiving. So complete. For this man loved me when I had no love for myself. His love never faltered.
To be loved so completely. So fervently. I am in awe of him. How was I chosen to be loved by him? And so as we toasted with our watered down pop, I realized that I have been blessed. Because I have been and continue to be loved by him.