The Nursery

People have asked me how we decorated the nursery. So without farther ado, now that the boys are 6 months.....a picture! My favorite room in the house :)

6 Months

Where did the time go? I can't quite believe that my babies, the tiny little souls that I prayed for for so long have now been here on this earth for six months. I can close my eyes and still remember sitting in the doctor's office as he told me that my cervix was much too short. I can remember the fear I had before the surgery and begging him to get me to viability. I could not lose another baby. And maintain my sanity. I remember how long the winter was, as I was confined to the house. Watching the world pass me by. Wishing for freedom. Wishing for an end to the pain. Praying for healthy babies. I remember the relief as each week passed after viability. And I remember the night my water broke. The joy I felt as one journey had ended and yet another one was just beginning.

I remember how tiny they were when I held them for the first time. How my hands trembled and my heart beat so quickly with excitement. How awed I was that these babies were mine. I remember once they both came home and how small they looked in their carseats. How helpless they were. How they made the tiniest little squeaks and grunts. How cloudy their eyes still were and how tightly their hands would turn to fists. I remember falling asleep with them between us and waking up looking their sweet faces. And I guess somehow the days passed, one after another. Now my babies are no longer tiny. And while I am so happy that they continue to grow, I am nothing short of devastated as the stages continue to pass.

Before I had children, it was all about me. I had "me" days. Days filled with massages and pedicures. Lunches and book clubs. Shopping and naps. I had such freedom. I could get in the car, blast the radio and just drive. I could take baths for hours and sleep until noon. I COULD GO TO THE GYM ANYTIME I WANTED. My life had no strings attached. Once I became pregnant, I would hear over and over again how much your life changes. That children change everything. I would smile and nod. Yet secretly disagree. My life would be the same, just a little bit fuller. Well six months into parenthood I can safely say that I didn't have a clue. My world has been tilted, rocked, tipped, and kicked. Every day, I wake up sleep deprived to look into a mirror that is not as kind as it once was. I get spit on, peed on, pooped on and still don't care what bodily fluid I'm wearing as long as the babies look good. My days consist of leaking boobs, explosive diapers, and projectile vomiting. I have come to love Baby Einstein and coupons. I could tell you which diapers have the best leak control and where to buy the cheapest baby food. I can speak fluently in baby, uttering syllables I never imagined. I cry easily. And at the end of the day, I am asleep before my head hits the pillow. My world has changed.

But I wouldn't change a thing. I believe that this is my destiny. That everything that has happened in my life before, happened so that it could bring me to this singular moment of motherhood. I would live my life all over again, go through all the heartache of the past, just to see them smile.

Random

It's hard to believe that summer is more than halfway over. But mostly it's hard for me to believe that my babies are almost six months old. I become tearful at the thought of their first birthday. But more on that in a different post. For now, here are some fun pictures of the babies in the water. They LOVE the water! I like to think it's because I spent the majority of my pregnancy in the bathtub :)

beckett gets kicked :)

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Miss Bailey

Leaving your children is never easy. Every time you walk out the door, your heart stays behind. Finding somebody to watch your children is one of the hardest things imaginable. How can you trust somebody with your loved ones? All the "what if's" plague you the minute the door closes. Yet when you do find somebody that you trust closing that door is a whole lot easier.

We didn't find Bailey. She found us. She lives 8 houses down from us and she saw the storks in the front yard when the boys were born. Her whole family came down to meet us. And it was love at first sight :)

I don't work much. Only one day a week. But knowing that Bailey has the boys enables me to focus on work and be in that moment. Not worrying about what is happening at home. It is so nice when she comes over. She knows where everything is. She knows their schedule. And....she loves them. She loves my boys. And that makes me LOVE her!

(Bailey has a best friend, Sydney. And she loves our boys too.)