15 months

And today...he walked.  Blake.  His little feet took two small steps and my heart took one giant leap.  It happened during therapy.  We were at a gym and I had gone to change Beckett and was walking back into the play area when through the windows...I saw.  And I cannot begin to put into words the myriad of emotions that flooded my senses in that single moment.  Time stood still.  In fact, the world ceased to spin when I saw his feet  move.  I wanted to run into that room, scream at the top of my lungs that my boy did it!  He did it!  For so long, so very long, we doubted.  As I reread over his initial prognosis, the one that I keep tucked away in a drawer so as not to be reminded of those dark days, I realize that we were not the only ones that doubted.  There are scary words littering the page: delayed; sensory and tactile overstimulation; hearing impaired; cerebral palsy.  Words that can not only devastate, but define.  I haven't looked at that paper since his initial evaluation.  Until today.  When I saw my boy take two steps.  And while he may just be getting his footing in this world, as I walked back into that play area, I acknowledge the fact that I could be losing mine.  For the past 15 months, I have been his advocate.  His most valiant fan.  His champion.  And now I see, that he will not need me, for he will triumph on his own.  And so I walked back in, willing the tears not to fall, and scooped him up.  Held him close to me.  Inhaled the scent that is Blake.  And I whispered into his ear, "You did it, son."
And the weak shall be strong.


Beckett: 21 lbs (25% in weight)
              28.5 inches (3% in height)
You are still very sensitive.  You cry easily, but laugh more.  You are a great sleeper and get somewhat annoyed when Blake wakes you up.  You are becoming a much better eater.  Just the other day you tried cranberries and loved them.  You are very industrious.  Everyplace you go, you go with purpose.  Your little body scoots (quickly) all over the house determined to get from A to B.  You are a great climber.  You have mastered going up the stairs.  Once at the top, you will turn around and holler as if to say, "Look at me!"  You are nowhere near walking.  Your scoot is very efficient for you and if you aren't scooting, you want to be held.  You love to be outside.  You are very content to scoot around the deck or crawl up the stairs and watch the airplanes.  You love Zoey.  You will scoot right up to her and offer her your face and wait for her to kiss you.  You are very serious.  And very intense.  You have the cutest gap between your two front teeth and you still have a dimple in your left cheek.  You are beginning to find out that you can be funny, and so you repeat over and over again whatever it is that makes me laugh.  You love to push things.  Anything with wheels doesn't stand a chance against you.  You will push and scoot and push and scoot until your mother makes you stop.  You get frustrated easily and it breaks my heart.  I so badly want to be able to just "do it" for you, but at the same time I like watching your little brain work to figure something out.  You love books. You will sit on the floor with an open book and just babble.  (I like to imagine that you will become a great novelist one day).  You can say, "Zoey, wow, momma, daddy,oh oh and no."  Sometimes I look at you and can't believe that you are turning into a toddler, but for now I will relish in the fact that your favorite place to be is still in my arms.

Blake: 23.2 lbs (50% in weight)
           29.5 inches (5% in height)
You are a happy baby.  You are content to play by yourself but thrive off attention.  You are an early bird.  You are the 1st one in the house awake.  You talk to yourself until you wake up your brother.  When I open the door in the morning, your smile lights the whole room.  You love to eat.  Not necessarily sweets, like your momma and brother, more meat and potatoes.  You love chicken and cheeseburgers and pizza.  You are a quick learner and mimic most everything we do.  You are much more accident prone than your brother.  So far you've fallen off the changing table and the bathroom counter.  You've slammed your finger in the door and pulled the fireplace grate over on your head.  Yet you still calm easily.  You have had a rough couple of weeks and will probably take after your momma with allergies and asthma.  Your favorite toy is a ball.  From the moment you wake up you start saying, "giye"  which is your word for ball.  Nothing makes you happier than playing ball.  But if I'm too busy to play with you, you have learned to throw the ball against a wall and catch it yourself.  Which I think is nothing short of GENIUS!  You are very friendly and will wave to anyone.  Even when you are in your carseat, I will look in the mirror and catch you waving out the window.  You have beautiful blue eyes with think long lashes, and when you cry, big teardrops fall making your eyes even more blue, and I just want to scoop you up into my arms and get lost in the ocean of your eyes.  While you are more independent than your brother, you still love to cuddle.  You do the most amazing thing, you sit on my lap and lean your head into mine, and we touch foreheads.  And for that moment, I feel the world stop.  You can say, "dada, momma, oh oh, hi, guck (duck), and giye (ball).