Miscellaneous

 The days are passing so quickly...I want to make sure these moments that make up our days are not forgotten. Beckett, you are....everywhere. You fluctuate from being fiercely independent to completely dependent on me. You test your boundaries every.single.day. Currently your favorite pastime is climbing the kitchen counters. You will walk across the stove (eek) and say, "excuse me, mommy." When I lift you down, you become completely irrational. You are obsessed with bumps. And that does not make for a good combination in a parking lot. If I take my eyes off you for one second, you dart across the lot to speed bumps. You are so expressive. With both your eyes and your voice. In a typical day these expressions will come out of your little mouth: "Mommy, come here." "Mommy, watch me." "Oh no!" "Shoot." "Excuse me." "Where did it go?" "I go outside for a minute, ok?" "Mommy, I come with me." "Peace out." "Look at me, I'm climbing." And finally, "mommy, watch the cars go over the bumps." Honestly, you never stop talking. When we go out people will comment on how well you talk. You are just as stubborn as you are sweet. Especially when we are saying our prayers at bedtime. You will want me to hold you and you will press your forehead into mine...almost as if you are trying to tell me just how much you love me. And Blake. Sweet Blake. This has been a long.bad.winter. It has been horrible. You were diagnosed with ITP on January 6. And since then our lives have been turned upside down. Initially we were going to the doctor every other day to get your blood counts. And you were so good. You never even cried when the nurse would stick your finger. While dealing with the ITP, you also were dealing with asthma. You are a bad asthmatic:( and we have to be super aggressive in treating your asthma because you can't handle a serious exacerbation with your ITP. So you have been on massive doses of steroids. You have been getting breathing treatments every four hours around the clock. You don't sleep well because you can't stop coughing. Watching you work so hard to breathe makes me cry. I wonder all the time what the future holds for you. You miss out on a lot...and so does your brother because of your asthma. Yesterday we took you to the chiropractor for the first time. I know it's pretty unconventional, but we have to get you off the steroids. The steroids have weakened your immune system, give you an insatiable appetite, and make you super hyper. But the worst thing about the steroids is the fact that they cause a false positive regarding your ITP. Initially steroids were used to treat ITP because it would increase the platelet count. But it doesn't treat the disease. So we haven't even had your counts done in almost a month. You have to be off the steroids for at least a week before your counts would be accurate. You can't even last two days without the steroids. To say it has been hard would be an understatement. Yet for the most part, you are still such a sweet baby. Still obsessed with hoop. You are talking so much more....at times though it is still very difficult to understand you. One of my favorite things is how you wave. Not a traditional wave. I love it. And I love the way you say yes. It's simply just a nod and a hum. It makes me smile. And I love the way you put your "woobie" on your head and the way you stroke your little fingers against whatever thing soft they might encounter. Your courage amazes me. We pray daily for this ITP to end. You won't be considered in remission until January 6 of this coming year. If at the end of this year, your platelets are still low...we have two options: a spleenectomy or a bone marrow transplant. Neither of those make me happy:( yet I know that you will bounce back, like you always do. You are a strong little boy.