Gracie's 7th Birthday

Gracie turned seven on August 26. She couldn't have been more excited. She asked my sister to decorate the whole house with Gracie things. So when you walked into their house, Grace was everywhere. Pictures of her, ribbons from swimming, artwork from school.....the list went on and on. But it was well worth it....she never stopped smiling.

2nd Anniversary

Yesterday was our anniversary. Two years. Only two years? How is that possible? It feels as if together we have lived through a century of despair. Of tragedy and hopelessness. Of tears and sleepless nights. Of anger and injustice. Of hurt and betrayal. This was not what I had imagined as I stood before God and my family and friends and pledged my love. Gave my life to him forever. For I imagined a life of grace. I imagined a road well paved, full of promise and illuminated by our faith. Ha. And now I can't even find a path to travel. I've lost the naivety and innocence of the bride that I aspired to be. That I believed that I would be. I look back at those pictures of me, of us on our wedding day. Who were those people? Those young and ignorant fools? So full of hope and so void of tragedy. I can stare at those people for hours. Their youth and beauty. Mesmerized by their hopeful faces. I can't turn away. I feel as if I am looking at strangers. Because that girl, the one with the blue eyes, she is no more. She is not the face that stares back at me every day.
Yet as I sat in front of my husband, at a crowded diner, over a dinner of grilled cheese and day old turkey, I couldn't turn away from him. This man who has loved me to the depths of my soul. This man who has walked through the darkness with me, guiding me back toward the light. Where he was waiting. Always waiting. Never in my life could I imagine a love so profound, so consuming, so forgiving. So complete. For this man loved me when I had no love for myself. His love never faltered.
To be loved so completely. So fervently. I am in awe of him. How was I chosen to be loved by him? And so as we toasted with our watered down pop, I realized that I have been blessed. Because I have been and continue to be loved by him.

A Day at the Lake

Claire....enjoying the lake.

Aruba Again! at OneTrueMedia.com

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Oops....I messed up the order of posts. Check out the one below. It's saying goodbye to our condo!

Saying Goodbye

our last night in the condo

There is a saying, that the only thing that is constant is change. At this point in our lives, change abounds. Chris and I sold our condo, after nine long months on the market. At first, we were ecstatic, but then as the closing date approached I became very nostalgic. Very sad. How can you put five years of your life into boxes? How can five years of memories be contained with a simple signature and exchange of keys? So much happened at our first home. We fell in love, we got engaged and married. We loved our dog. We lost our daughter. What happens to those memories? I guess I pack them up and carry them with me, in my heart. Our condo was a perfect place for us. We customized everything. From the cabinets to the flooring. The condo echoed us and our love. Saying goodbye has been hard, harder than I ever imagined. What next? What new phase of our life awaits us? The condo was ours. Our haven. A place that we had created and called "home" in the truest sense of the word. And now we have no place to call ours. We are blessed, certainly to be able to live with my parents until we find a home. They are gracious and give us our space. But even in the best of times....sleeping down the hall from your parents, as a married couple is not ideal. So we wait and we look for our next home. A home that will have hallways that collect our tears and echo of our laughter.

signing the "sold" documents

Aruba

We went to Aruba again with my parents at the beginning of June. We are so blessed to be able to go to someplace so beautiful. And even more blessed that my parents let us stay with them, so our costs are minimal. The vacation was just what we needed. There is so much going on right now, especially since we sold the condo, that we just needed some time to relax. Even to realize why it is that we got married. There is something about an ocean as clear as the sky that makes you fall in love all over again.

More pictures coming later!

A Garden Wedding

Again, let me mention how much I love weddings. In fact, the moment I realized that my own wedding was over, I was devastated. It was the best most magical day of my life. If I could have done it over and over again, I would have relished in it. To wrap myself back up in my wedding gown and take that long coveted walk down the aisle one more time....So the next best thing for me, is going to weddings. I love the hope that is expressed in the eyes of the betrothed. As they hold onto one another, unencumbered by any kind of future disappointments, simply living and loving in that moment. Clinging to each other and basking in the glow of their love. My friend Tricia got married on June 6th. Both the ceremony and reception were held at an old historic home in the city. And it was outside! I could never have done that. With my personality and defeatist attitude, I would have been obsessed with the weather. Terrified of rain, thunderstorms, windstorms, humidity, a plague of locusts, etc.... But Tricia had faith and her day was beautiful. Really. The sun was singing its lovely light through the boughs of the trees. A slight breeze whispered through the evening, caressing the scattered rose petals along the aisle, stirring them into a beautiful circular dance. And as the bride walked down the aisle, it appeared as if even nature was awed by her.