Due Date

Today was my due date. And yet my boys are six weeks old. I can't quite believe that they have been here for six weeks. The time has passed so quickly, and yet it feels as if they have always been here. I cannot begin to imagine my life and what it was like before these boys. Surely it must have been full, but I've never imagined a completion such as this. All my life I feel as if I've been waiting for greatness, as I look down at my babies, I know that the greatness has found me. Nothing I ever do in this life will be as great as loving my sons. I never knew that I was missing something, and now that they are here I have found a love so encompassing and pure that I have realized happiness to be not a state of mind but the physical beat of the heart. And every day, my heart beats stronger. It doesn't matter if the boys are screaming and I haven't slept, for the moment I pick them up and inhale their tiny little bodies, I fall in love all over again. There are moments in the day where I just watch them. Wanting to pause time, trying to memorize every single movement they make. I love watching them dream. Their little eyelids flutter and a smile spreads across their lips. I like to think that in that smile of pure innocence, the angels are whispering to them. And just maybe Harper is telling them secrets too.

The road to motherhood has been long, yet even if I were just taking that first step all over again, knowing in the end what it feels like to have both my arms and heart so full, I'd walk that road again, without hesitation.