March 17

Five years ago today my Baylor died.  Today is the day my daughter should be turning four.  Had my pregnancy not ended in tragedy, my due date was March 17, 2010.  To be honest, I don't remember the day she died.  I have no recollection of that date.  I would have to go back through this blog to find out the day she died.  I have no doubt that I blocked it out.  Losing Baylor was devasting to me.  But then I had an unexpected gift....a pregnancy.  With a due date that assured me that Baylor was still with me.  Then she died.  And in that single moment, my sanity was lost and my heart was broken.  I was on a downward spiral, with no desire to save myself.  But His grace was there.  And now I have not one but two children to fill my heart.  Happy St. Patrick's Day.