Blessed

So Baylor was pretty sick over Valentine's weekend, and she wasn't getting better by Monday. So we made an appointment at the clinic on Tuesday. Deep in my gut, I felt like we would be given bad news, and so Chris took the day off work to be with me, (and hopefully keep me from complete hysteria). Dr. Campbell took Baylor into the exam room, and when he came back, the news was not good. The cancer was back. Four months ago, we did the surgery to remove the tumor from her colon, and it was already back. I immediately started crying. Chris put on a brave face and asked what our options were. Dr. Campbell said that another surgery really wasn't an option. Baylor had already had her colon resected once and she didn't have much more colon to work with. He stated that he could scope her and restage the cancer, but that would not change the outcome. I was devastated, I didn't feel like we were doing enough. What if what Dr. Campbell felt wasn't a tumor but a stricture that had developed as a result of scar tissue? After discussing our options, we decided that Baylor would be sedated, and get a complete bowel cleansing, and stay the night. Dr. Campbell said that she was horribly impacted due to the fact that the tumor prevents her colon from emptying. This would buy us a little time with the Bear, hopefully quality time. And then we made the decision that the next sign of impaction, we would put her down. So we left Baylor and went home with broken hearts. Later that afternoon, Dr. Campbell called Chris. He said that once Baylor was sedated, he was able to do a more thorough exam, and he didn't feel what he had felt before. So he went ahead and got some abdominal xrays and did an abdominal ultrasound. On ultrasound he was also able to see that she had a pocket of fluid around her original suture site. He drained that fluid and was also able to dilate her colon 1mm. And yes it was not a stricture, but cancer. Of course we were certainly grateful that we were able to have peace of mind that everything had been done, and that it truly was cancer. So Chris asked Dr. Campbell how much money he needed to bring to pay for all those procedures. Dr. Campbell said, "Don't worry about that. I did that on my own. You guys are good people and deserve it." Chris couldn't even finish the conversation he was so overwhelmed with emotion. And when he told me, I began sobbing. It amazes that despite all the negativity in the world, true kindness exists. Dr. Campbell didn't have to do that, but he did. And he didn't just give us the Bear back for a little while, he gave us peace of mind. And you can't put a price on that. When she dies, I will know in my heart that we did everything. And I can live with that. As for now, I will live with an old gray Bear, for as long as she is able. And for the rest of our lives, we will never forget the kindness that Dr. Campbell bestowed upon us. Just imagine, if we all practiced random acts of kindess, what a wonderful world this would be!