A Really Bad Day

I love being a momma. This was the road that I was meant to travel. However some days, that road is a bit difficult. Yesterday was one of those days. From beginning to end, it was a BAD day. The boys woke up and we began our routine. I put them both on the changing table and dressed them. Then I noticed that their nails needed a little trim, (something that you never learn in nursing school). So I trimmed their nails and walked into the bathroom to get Blake's medicine. Blake has severe reflux. We are now on our 3rd different medication and things still aren't improving. He cries from the moment he opens his eyes. And if he isn't crying, he is spitting. Projectile vomiting. At least I have a fantastic washer. So anyway, I am in the bathroom measuring his medicine out when I hear a thud. Immediately I knew. I knew that my baby had fallen off the changing table. My heart began to beat so quickly but I felt as if my feet had lead in them. I couldn't get there fast enough. When I walked into the nursery, there was my baby. Screaming face first on the hardwood floor. I picked him and tried to calm him down when I noticed the blood. Oh my God! Blood! I just knew that he had a brain injury. I was a mess. Hysterical. I couldn't figure out where the blood was coming from. And now Beckett was screaming too. So......I started screaming. Where is the blood?! Blakey where are you bleeding from?! Answer me!!! He didn't, of course. So I put him back on the changing table and stripped him down. That's when I saw his finger. And I remembered cutting his nails. Turns out, I nicked his little finger. And soft tissue bleeds. A lot! So after putting a much too large bandaid on his little finger, I called Chris and told him that he fell on his head. So into the doctor we went. The visit was uneventful. No brain damage. Whew. So we come back home and he won't stop spitting. Not at all unusual for him. Blake spits all the time. But yesterday I couldn't take it anymore. After the 13th outfit, I called Chris in tears. Something is wrong with Blake! Kosair here we come. The abdominal ultrasound was negative. No malrotation or pyloric stenosis. So.....the doctor just tells us that he has severe reflux. And maybe is lactose intolerant with a milk protein allergy. He tells me to feed Blake Alimentum, which is a hypoallergenic formula. If it works then great. If he continues to spit we go back for an upper GI. Fanfreakingtastic! As if I have all the time in the world. As if I can simply nurse one baby and bottle feed the other because I have 4 arms. As if my body, which has been producing milk for two babies will all of a sudden just produce milk for one. This sucks. As of this morning, my child is still spitting. The only difference is that his spit now smells like nasty Alimentum. Blegh! But we are alive and I guess that's what matters. If anybody has any ideas, please feel free to share. And thank you to my sister and my friend Sarah who watched Beckett all day.