A Gift from a Friend

My days are full of sorrow, because my hopes for the tomorrows have been taken away from me when our baby died. Certainly I know that there will be good days again, full of hope. And with the grace of God, more children will come into our lives. But that doesn't change the fact that I wanted that child. That I wanted to be her mother. I know she is in heaven, but I wonder if I will be able to recognize her when I get there. And will she know me? Even though we never met, will she still call me her mother? My grief is something that will heal with time, this I know. However, I would not be able to to heal without the encouragement of friends. Three years ago, I took care of a little girl, who was born much too soon. I feel in love with her from the beginning, never imagining that I would fall in love with her parents as well. Maybe God does have a grander plan than we ever could have imagined. Because during this time of grief, this family has not only allowed me to grieve, they have welcomed it and honored it. There are days when my grief overwhelms me and then, as if by divine intervention, I will have a lovely note from them. When I opened up my email the other day, I found a poem that they had sent to me. Not only did it warm my heart, but it helped to heal my fragile soul. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you and will never forget your kindness during this time in our lives.

What Makes A Mother

author unknown

(given to me from Carsten and Susanne Bach)

I thought of you and closed my eyes

And prayed to God today

I asked "What makes a Mother?"

And I know I heard Him say,

"A mother has a baby."

This we know is true.

"But God can you be a mother,

When you're baby's not with you?"

"Yes, you can," He replied

With confidence in His voice.

"I give many women babies,

When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,

And others for the day.

And some I send to feel your womb,

But there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this God.

I want my baby here."

He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,

And then I saw the tear.

"I wish I could show you

What your child is doing today.

If you could see your child's smile,

With all the other children and say...

We go to earth to learn our lessons,

Of love and life and fear.

My mommy loved me oh so much

I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a mom,

Who had so much love for me.

I learned my lessons very quickly

My mommy set me free.

I miss my mommy oh so much

But I visit her every day.

When she goes to sleep,

On her pillow is where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,

And whisper in her ear.

Mommy don't be sad today,

I'm your baby and I'm here.

"So you see my dear sweet ones,

Your children are okay.

Your babies are born here in My home

And that is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,

Until your lesson's through.

And on the day that you come home

They'll be at the gates for you."

So now you know what makes a mother,

It's the feeling in your heart.

It's the love you had so much of

Right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize

you are a mother, until their time is done.

They'll be up here with me one day,

And know that you are the very best one.