30 weeks!

Christmas has passed and I am now in my 30th week of pregnancy. And right now, time is moving quickly. As I opened presents on Christmas morning, surrounded by those I love and those that love me, I was imagining what next Christmas would be like. Two little boys, more interested in the paper than what is actually inside. Two little boys crawling around, looking for mischief. I imagine a house full of chaos, toys scattered about, squeals of delight, and lots of laughter. Not just from the boys, but from their momma. Looking at what she has. Realizing that all that she lost has brought her to this singular point. Of joy. And so while this Christmas was lovely and wonderful, certainly there was one person, one little angel that was missed. So much focus has been on the boys, that it is almost easy to forget her. And yet, had she not been, the boys would not be coming. Remember, God gives them back. He took my daughter away, but He gave me two boys. And as anxious as I am to meet them, to hold them in my arms, I cannot and will not forget my daughter. And as I opened gifts on Christmas, it became quite clear to me, that others have not forgotten her as well. Her memory will continue to live on, Christmas after Christmas. Her brothers will know who came before. And there will always be an angel on top of our tree, reminding us of our daughter, Harper.
And when we look at that ornament, not only will we remember Harper, but the friends we made along the way. Those friends who held us up when our grief was bringing us down. Those friends that will forever be in our hearts and part of our lives. Because they share not only our joy, but our sorrow. Thank you Carsten and Susanne, for not being afraid to walk this journey with us.