31 weeks!

Happy New Year! I had the best intentions for this post, to write about all of our blessings and what this New Year has in store for us. But honestly, I am exhausted. The medications are taking their toll on me. Every six hours round the clock I am taking pills. The side effects are terrible. I had an allergic reaction to the injection on New Year's. Over the weekend I developed a cold, which led me to an antibiotic, which led to a yeast infection. I know I shouldn't complain. I have neared the finish line. At times, I can almost feel the weight of them in my arms. I call them by name now. I play music for them. I read to them. I am blessed. But this journey has been the hardest physical and emotional journey I have ever been on. It has brought me to my knees. Begging for my own sanity. Pleading for their survival. Wishing for yet one more day. I know pregnancy is not supposed to be easy. Yet I never expected all of this. But would I do it again? When I look into the eyes of my children, realizing the losses it took to get me to this point, to have both my arms and heart full. There will be no hesitation. I would do it again and again.